Its Not About Overcoming Obstacles…

as much as it is about finding a way around them.  Just a few thoughts on what I find challenging:

I still am dealing with patellar tendonitis.  My knee pain is nowhere near as severe as it was a few months ago, but it is still there.  So I make modifications – my pace is slow and so, my improvement upon it is gradual.  I ice, do my physical therapy stretches and make sure I wear my knee strap.

I have asthma.  It’s not severe, but it can be annoying.  Mostly its triggered by extreme temperature changes (going from being cold, to being very warm in a short amount of time), emotional stress and sometimes exercise.  I keep it in control, with a twice a day steroid inhaler and keep a rescue inhaler on hand.  Today, I forgot to take my preventative,  didn’t have my rescue inhaler at hand and so had to go verrrry slow on my run.  Verrrrrry stupid of me.

Socially, I feel very awkward – which I’ve become fairly good at disguising.  People don’t realize, that under the surface, I am painfully shy – I literally rehearse things to say, in my mind.  I recognize this in myself and try very hard to overcome it – sometimes, I know, I’m just plain awkward.

Because of this, even the most basic social interaction is fraught with anxiety for me – I’ve become somewhat adept, at faking being “comfortable” in social situations.  However, I will often worry about nearly every nuance of normal social conversation – all in the manner of seconds it takes to complete such an interaction. I will sometimes replay a moment – that for me is/was highly stressful…knowing that in reality, the other person has probably already forgot about it and moved on.  I envy people, who seemingly glide through normal interactions with ease.

I look at myself and feel fierce protectiveness for my son – who has Aspergers.

I recognize where I am challenged, and I push myself beyond my comfort zone.

I have found, the greatest acceptance of my quirks and personality, in my running/triathlon journey – here, I see many kindred spirits.

Here, I have found true friends.


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